I know it’s jeeeeest about getting to panic time for the holiday season, at least for us craftsters who planned on hand-whittling the state birds for each second cousin this year. But if you could all take a moment to think back in time, to those days before you swore off the shopping mall after getting in a fist fight with your sister over Tickle Me Mickey or whatever that thing is; before you stopped speaking with your in-laws over holiday schedule disputes; before you got too drunk at the office Winter Festival party and embarassed yourself again. Way back to a day called Thanksgiving. Ah, weren’t things easier then?
Tag Archives: holidays
Back to the November: Thanksgiving Recap
9 DecThe Cheap Sweets: Last Minute Valentines
13 Feb
Oscar Wilde said, “Who, being loved, is poor?“, which, looked at one way, is the whole point of this blog. However, reading this quote on the 12th of any given month, student loan check-writing day, a day of tear-smudged ink and boxed wine-smudged everything else, can give you a different perspective on love’s ability to pay the bills.
Gift Wrap for the Broke and Uninspired
21 Dec
You may have thought the ride was over because you finished buying or making your gifts for the season. Oh no (haughty laugh). Think of your gifts as you would an old cat pee stain or that muffin top hanging over your pants: You gotta cover that s*** up.
“Those Aren’t Pillows”: Holiday Traveling
25 Nov
Planes, trains, and automobiles. Hotels, fold-out couches, and old childhood bedrooms. The packing. The traffic. The forgetting of really really important things. And the preparation for questions about just what exactly it is you’re doing with your life. Home is where the heart is but getting back there is a pain in the ass. Did I just make that up? Well, color me Dorothy Parker!
Anyone who finds themselves muttering, “Six bucks and my right nut says we’re not landing in Chicago” or “We’d have more luck playing pick-up sticks with our butt cheeks than getting a flight out of here” knows the pain of holiday travel. That’s why this year, I’m going to make things a little easier on my loved ones far away by sending along homemade packing checklists and mixed CDs. It may not make the flight less expensive or the trucker that’s riding their ass less ass-riderly, but I’m hoping that after some stress free packing and holiday tune jamming, they’ll be a bit more jolly by the time they make it to me. I don’t put up with party poopers.
And the card attached would say…Thank You for Letting Me Scrub the Potatos: Thanksgiving Box
21 Nov
In my family, everyone contributes something to the Thanksgiving table. Momma makes the meal and the pies but we’re all grown-ups now, so everyone else is in charge of the appetizers, side dishes, drinks, condiments, and table settings…everyone else except me.
Last Minute…and I mean real last minute… Halloween Costume Ideas
30 OctThis Halloween I am going as a procrastinator- who planned to but did not write a brilliant post about Halloween costumes including color photos and a 3-paragraph rant on how kids these days (and by kids I mean adults) aren’t creative enough about making their own costumes and “Down with Halloweeen USA and sexy cops!” and bla bla bla.
I was going to add a hilarious picture of my brother dressed as Indiana Jones when he was a child, a look on his face like he’s going to lash whoever is behind the camera with his homemade whip, and me standing next to him in a full cat-bodysuit looking like, well, looking like a five-year-old stuck in a cat suit trying not to touch her face lest she rub off her painted whiskers. Or post the picture of my niece when she was a five-year-old stuck in a butterfly costume, bawling because we put pipe cleaners in her braids so they would stick up like antennas. Or tell you about how my mother would dress up as a pregnant woman every year…and how my dad always almost believed her when she greeted him in her pillow-stuffed house robe and curlers. Every time, to my memory, he laughed and then said, “This is a costume right?”
From the Tip of Your Tongue to at Your Fingertips: Keeping a Gift Journal
29 SepScenario: It’s Grandma’s birthday again and you haven’t purchased a gift yet. Scratch that, you haven’t even thought about what to your going to give her. Scratch that, you’re not even aware that it is Grandma’s birthday because when your mom called to remind you, you wrote it down on a paper napkin from the taco place you were at and then got distracted by the guacamole and ended up leaving it on the table where the bus-boy picked it up and thought it was a note to him and, because he reads a lot of sci-fi and believes you’ve led him to some sort of code, is still trying to figure out what “gma SEP 9″ means. So now you’ve got two people to get presents for (Grandma and the bus-boy because you left a crappy tip and cryptic note).
Save Grandma and yourself from the silent treatment she’s going to give you by keeping a gift journal: a little notebook or stapled pile of scrap paper or a space in the back of your dayplanner where you keep all notes gift-related.
Easter 09: Adults Need Bunny-Love Too
14 Apr
At an Easter dinner party this Saturday (which was lovely, thank you), I was given dessert duty. Since I flaked out and picked up a store-bought pie, I decided to give the other adults an easter treat. I bought all of the classic Easter candy which actually turned out to be pretty pricey. I couldn’t justify spending the extra money on that fake plastic grass but at the same time, I just couldn’t make an easter basket without it. My solution? I took the candy packaging and shredded it into the grass. Then I covered the bottom of the basket with some green yarn to give it some oomph and walah!
